"When marriage equality was adopted in Estonia, life went on, society did not collapse – it simply became a little more equal," said Christian Veske, Estonia’s Commissioner for Gender Equality and Equal Treatment. In an interview with LRT.lt, he said marriage equality brought same-sex couples not only legal security but also emotional support and a sense of equality.
Veske said his motivation to work in the field of equality stemmed from his own childhood experiences. He grew up in a small Estonian town and, although his family was open and supportive, he faced bullying at school because of his sexual orientation.
"I grew up in a very loving home; my parents were always very progressive. But at school, I experienced a lot of bullying – the kind many gay or trans kids go through. It was a difficult time for me, but those experiences laid a strong foundation for the future and helped me understand that we need to work towards creating a better environment for children to grow up in," he said.
After working in Estonia for a while, Veske moved to Vilnius, where he lived and worked for nine years. "Vilnius and Lithuania are, and always have been, very close to my heart. Lithuania is my second home," he said.
It was in Vilnius that Veske took part in his first Baltic Pride march. Held in 2010, the event drew around 350 participants, while police were forced to restrain twice as many counter-protesters.
More than 800 officers were deployed, including mounted police. Protesters threw stones and smoke bombs and shouted insults.
In the end, police had to use tear gas and mobilise specialised units to restore order. Ten people were detained, and two of them were found carrying explosives.
In 2010, several dozen people also gathered for joint prayer outside Vilnius Cathedral. Led by Monsignor Alfonsas Svarinskas, they recited the rosary, sang hymns and held the Lithuanian tricolour aloft. Svarinskas had previously said he would pray because "gays pose a threat to the Lithuanian nation".
"I remember the situation was very tense. We didn’t know if the city municipality would grant a permit for the march. I recall there were so many police officers, it felt like we were on an isolated island. But I was really glad to be there – it was a huge event and the first time all the Baltic countries came together for such a cause," said Veske.
Subsequent marches looked very different and faced far less hostility.
"In recent years, Pride parades have looked much like they do in older Western democracies. LGBT organisations in Lithuania are very good at organising these events – I believe you are a model for other countries in the region," he added.
A divisive issue fades away
Today, Estonia is the only Baltic state where marriage equality is enshrined in law. The legislation was passed by the Estonian parliament on June 20, 2023, and from 2024, two adults – regardless of gender – can legally marry.
Marriage equality represented a major step in accepting LGBTQ+ people, Veske emphasised. One of the greatest challenges, he said, was the lack of political courage, as many politicians viewed the topic as too controversial.
However, following parliamentary elections, a majority emerged that made it possible to pass marriage equality legislation.
"Estonian society had already become accustomed to the idea that same-sex couples exist and need legal protection. Polls showed that a majority supported marriage equality, though only by a narrow margin – a percentage point or two. But public opinion was already shifting," he said.
Veske acknowledged that part of the population opposed marriage equality, but others saw it as an important democratic milestone. Ultimately, even opponents realised that their lives remained unchanged.
"After marriage equality was adopted, life went on, society didn’t collapse – it simply became a little more equal," Veske said.
Marriage equality brought not just legal but also emotional security to same-sex couples, along with a sense of inclusion. Importantly, it also resolved a divisive issue in society.
"Marriage equality means a great deal to same-sex couples. It shows that these people are part of Estonian society," he said.
Towards a more equal society
In his view, it is unjust when a segment of society is marginalised – expected to pay taxes and defend their country, but denied "the most basic human right" of marrying the person they love. Such a situation, Veske said, created conflicts and distanced people from the state.
The Estonian equality commissioner hoped his country’s example would inspire others in the region: "I hope our neighbours will see that society doesn’t collapse when two people who love each other are allowed to marry and have their love officially recognised. Nothing happens – you’re just letting two people be happy. In Estonia, we looked at Finland and Sweden and saw that nothing catastrophic happened there. I hope other countries in the region will see that too."
At the same time, Veske stressed that there are areas where Estonia could learn from Lithuania. For example, Lithuania prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity, whereas Estonia lacks such legal provisions, he noted.
"Estonia is not leading in every area," Veske added.
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